I’ve had regular sex for the past month, it’s good sex and with at least one partner it is evolving into something potentially better and kinkier. On that note, I am not a weak damsel and GORRAM IT I need to be fucked so long and hard I can’t walk straight. I need to be fucked so long and hard I have to fucking CRAWL to the bathroom when I have to pee.
I want to have to pound a gallon of Gatorade because I am so dehydrated from sex and then unapologetically eat an entire steak dinner to myself because I’ve burned off so many calories I make a weight lifter weep in shame. I want to feel used, abused, and beaten. Figuratively and literally. I want to have bruises from being bitten too hard, and an ass so raw from beatings that I can’t sit for a week without squirming from the delicious pain.
As much as I fight my submissive side I’ve realized that it’s something that will always be a part of me. Lately I have been craving the glare of a Master when I’ve done something to piss him off. I miss the chill that runs down by spine when that look tells me in no uncertain terms I will be over his knee by the end of the night. I miss the feel of a man’s hand at the back of my neck, telling me silently that I am his and indirectly telling other’s the same. I miss that floating on air, every nerve tingling, eyes glazed over, skin on fire subspace.
I want to find a man that encourages my headstrong ways but is stern enough to set me back to rights when I’ve toed that line a little too far. Someone who will let me have my cake and eat it too, and laugh with me when I eat that very same cake with the zeal of a child. I want a man who will embrace my kittenish ways, and appreciate that I am a snuggle bug but sometimes I just want to be alone.